Cry. It’s okay!
Growing up, we were all taught to not cry, always told creative sayings such as “dry it up, buttercup”, “no tears allowed here!” and “only girls cry”. I am guilty to this day for thinking or saying some of these sayings! I get it – there are times people think and wonder what in the world are they crying over ______?! Raise your hand if you can relate! Sometimes it is hard to identify for yourself that you fall into these “categories” of judgement. I do not like to admit my short falls and I am sure most people do not like it either.
Let’s reverse the roles now. Imagine being the one crying, hurt, upset and being told to “dry it up”, “why are you crying?!” How does this make you feel? To me, the feelings that I feel when hearing those words are that my current feelings and emotions are not valid. In reality, in that moment of time, we as human beings need to have our feelings and thoughts validated that it is okay to be feeling this certain way. How about the saying “only girls cry”?! Is society telling us that anyone who cries or shows emotion are “girls”? Plus – what does that mean anyway?! That it is okay to cry because you are a “girl”? or the idea that girls are emotionally “weaker” than boys? I hope my point is getting out, that nobody is superior or inferior to another individual when it comes to showing emotions. All of our emotions are valid!
Going through multiple miscarriages and years of wanting to have a family of my own, there were plenty of tears shed from my eyes. There were times when speaking about our story I would feel the tears coming on and then I would quickly change the subject or hold in the tears because I did not want others to see me as “weak” or “emotional”. This only hurt me in the long run. Bottling up my feelings and tears because I did not feel my emotions were “valid” enough to share out loud due to being judged by others only allowed more hurt to be hidden inside. When these moments happened, all I could hear were those “creative sayings” about crying. There were even times I would not even express my feelings to Mark because it was so engrained in me that crying is not acceptable.
NEWS FLASH: IT IS OKAY TO CRY! Crying is not a sign of weakness. Crying is a sign of emotional strength! Crying can be a positive outlet for people to get those tense thoughts and feelings off their chest! Crying is a stress relief! It was not until I hit rock bottom and relied solely on my faith that I was able to accept that crying is okay! I would cry out to God; I would cry to Mark. And guess what everyone!? Mark cried too! Him crying did not make him any less of a man! It showed that he is human and that he has feelings and that he needed his time to have his emotions expressed and validated! So, no, the saying “only girls cry” is not a true statement! So please quit saying it!
My hope for everyone reading this blog post is to know your feelings are valid. It is okay to cry. It is okay to not be okay. I also hope everyone is able to learn to be there for someone in their lives who needs a good crying session, who needs to have their emotions validated in a vulnerable moment, and to hear that it is okay to cry no matter the scenario or the gender!
XOXO
Megan
