Try Faith
Faith, hope, love and perseverance are the pillars that are at the foundation of “Puzzled.” The pillars are what brought us through and keep us moving forward to share our story with others.
To be honest, the word “faith” is such a common, household word that we grew up hearing, and having a belief that we knew what it meant to actually have faith in something greater than us. It was not until we went through trying times losing our first pregnancy that we truly began to realize what it meant to have faith.
In March of 2019, when the doctor walked in and said the baby’s heart is not beating and we have had a miscarriage, all faith was lost. We were at the lowest of lows when it seemed like everyone around us was able to have a successful pregnancy, even those individuals and couples who “did not want to get pregnant”. The taunting question of “why me, why us God” always seemed to creep up in our conversations. This was not how our story was supposed to go.
Looking back now, we can relate our mental, emotional and spiritual health back to our faith. It may have been as small as a mustard seed at first, but it grew over time. When we allowed the unwanted, negative thoughts come into our minds and hearts, questioning if God was really there, we were quickly reminded by a song, a social media post, a random text message or even better, a cardinal consistently visiting us and flying into our back door, that God is there through every aspect of our life, the good and the bad. We just needed to learn to let go and let God take our pain from us! Letting go of the questions, negative thoughts, and self-doubts and allowing God to take control over all these things is when we truly learned what it meant to have faith in the Lord.
We had to learn to trust God. We took a step back to realize that we are truly not in control as God has His plans for us and His timing is better than anything we can imagine. Unfortunately, we may not see the reason for a set back until later in life. It is easy to state this now, but in the middle of a difficult season of life, it is one of the most difficult things we have ever had to do.
In the “in-between” of learning what faith actually means, God showed ways to cope with raw emotions. Megan found that journaling was a great escape; she would scribble all her thoughts down, good and bad, and not worry about having the perfect grammar or the perfect handwriting. She was able to visually and verbally express raw emotions in a healthy manner. One day to fully let go and let God handle everything, she wrote down all her anger, sadness, selfishness and emotions on two front and back pages of college ruled notebook paper in record time. She then went outside and burned these papers! It was so freeing to see all those emotions vanish away and nobody else could see them besides her and God. At that moment, everything was up to God. The burdens and worries were gone and faith was restored. During this time, Mark began to write one positive thing about every day. Instead of all the negatives that happen, focus on one positive thing no matter how large or small. When we can remove the negatives and worries from our life, we begin to have a different frame of mind. These are two scenarios out of several examples that we can share. We are human and still have tough days, but when the struggle does creep in, remember, God is right there with you.
Catherine Pulsifer writes, “Faith is unseen but felt, Faith is strength when we feel we have none, faith is hope when all seems lost.” We all have our own experiences with faith and how we personally define it. It can define us into a negative season of life or we can use our experiences and faith and turn into hope for our future. Faith led us to draw closer together as a couple and with God. Faith is hard to comprehend at times because it is not a physical or tangible item that can be held in your hands. Instead, faith is a feeling in your heart, a mindset and a strength to move forward.
Our advice is simple, try faith! Do not be afraid to hand over your sorrows, worries, problems to the Lord. No matter your age or gender, you are never alone. Faith is truly between yourself and God. In 2 Corinthians 5:7 it states, “We walk by Faith, not by sight.” Instead of battling an addiction, anxiety, depression or worrying over an outcome, try faith. God will be there; He will show up in ways you least expect! Matthew West’s song “Dream Again” says it best: “Your lungs are still breathing. Your heart is still beating. The end’s where the future begins. Just open your eyes, open your eyes and dream again.” When you are at your “end”, that is when your future will begin! Try Faith!
XOXO
Mark and Megan