The Long Gravel Road

My grandparents lived and loved in a beautiful old farmhouse at the end of a very long gravel drive in the middle of nowhere in Southern Indiana. Their house was a haven for me as a child, and later as an adult, when I faced many struggles and grief. It wasn't the house that was the haven, it was two of the world’s most amazing humans, my grandparents who were living in it and the fact that God felt nearest there.

Their little farmhouse was right in the middle of hundreds of acres of farmland and woods. It was minutes from extended family, and it was filled to the brim with love, food, grace, and a lot of God. My grandparents were gospel singers who traveled the US singing with their family band, so when I say we praised the Lord, we PRAISED the Lord! at their house. They lived Psalms 9:2 in their house and family.  "I will be glad and rejoice in you; I will sing the praises of your name, O Most High." Someone was always singing, humming, or listening along to gospel.  We were well versed in all things gospel, and it felt like a warm hug to hear my grandparents sing. 

While the house holds most of my memories, love and fondness, the old long gravel driveway leading up to the house holds one particular piece of my heart. When we turned onto it, it felt like coming home. It felt safe and I always felt the presence of God on those rocks and dirt.

The gravel drive was over half a mile long and was one of the many places on their farm where adventures happened. As kids, we would race on it, find cool rocks on it, chase grasshoppers and pick flowers for my Granny along it. It provided a safe place for walks to clear my head when I faced grief and pain and where a lot of conversations with God occurred. Sometimes the conversations didn’t go the way I planned, but I learned long ago, that when we plan, God laughs!  A magical thing happens when you stop talking and just listen to what God has to say.

I learned a lot on the gravel driveway as I walked on it to get the mail with my grandfather, and he told me stories about my mother and our family. I learned to drive up that driveway, getting to climb in the driver seat and “steer” up the hill on my mom’s lap as a child up, all the way through my first time driving it solo. My children now get to play in that dirt, walk on those rocks, and pick flowers for me.

Sometimes their long gravel drive would be so dried and dusty the car would be nearly white after driving up. Sometimes it was sprinkled with snow and looked like Narnia and was a vision of a winter wonderland. Occasionally we would arrive right after it rained and would be met with a rainbow at the top of the hill before we turned the bend, just like the day of my grandfather's funeral. It may seem silly, but that long gravel driveway is something special.

Many times, the driveway would get partially washed out and it would feel like an off-roading experience just to get to the house. I think of this often, how sometimes my way in life gets a little rocky and some of my path gets washed away. Yet, at the end of the struggle there is a safe place with love and a little Jesus waiting for me. There is a farmhouse filled with love just around the bend.  

I brought my first son to the farm when he was only a few weeks old. My grandfather was very ill and yet he held my sweet baby and sang "Edelweiss" to him. I walked that drive to cry where my grandparents couldn't see me as I mourned that it might be the last time that I might hear my grandfather sing and that my son would not know one of the strongest men I ever knew. 

I walked that drive when I lost not one, but two babies to miscarriages back-to-back. I cried, I asked God why and I questioned just how much I could really take.  Then I was gently reminded of James 1:2-3 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.”  It strengthened my relationship with God and a magical thing happened when I trusted Him, I was blessed with my second son not long after that walk.

I think of their long gravel driveway all the time when I am struggling. I recently faced a difficult time in my life and I went back to that drive. My aunt lives in the home now and I was so happy that when I needed a haven, there it was. While both grandparents are now singing gospel music with Jesus side by side in Heaven, I know that when I need a safe place to run, or a place to feel their love, I just have to turn on that long gravel drive and I’m home. I’m safe and I’m sure to hear from God.  I hope that you never feel alone and that you find your safe haven and turn to God in those moments of trials and pain. He will always protect and guide you. Just remember that when we struggle, God is there - Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”